Alice felt sad for a while, but soon dispersed. She walked in with her hands behind her back and looked at him, like a boss inspecting an employee. She reached out and pointed at the incomplete drawings in his pen. “Ah, the painting is good. The young man has a bright future.”
She was making a joke, seriously. He was sad and unbearable. He knew that she was trying to come close to him.
The pen in his hand was thrown on the desk angrily, turned around, and looked at her coldly, “Alice, what do you want to do?”
Alice looked at him, but he was angry, and she still tried to keep smiling, and not answering the question, “Don’t you know?”
Benjamin frowned a little. His big hand put on her thin arm, and dragged her to the door.
She could not be bigger than him, only to let him throw her out of the study as if he wanted to discard trash.
She turned around, but what facing her with was a slamming door, and she was shut out.
Alice didn’t give up, but she didn’t go to open the door again. He closed and she was not allowed to open it.
She also knew that he must lean on the door, and he was worse than her.
She sat quietly in the doorway of the study, leaning against the white carved door, her voice was low, but she knew he could hear it.
“Benjamin, can we eat together? I’m hungry.”
Benjamin did listen clearly. When he heard she was hungry, his hand was even placed on the doorknob, but the sudden pain in his heart made him instantly sober.
One day he will leave, and she had to adapt to the life without him. Hasn’t she survived the past three years?
He got a marriage certificate with her, for the purpose that when he left, she could justifiably own the castle he built for her and get all his property. He hoped she will be better than she was now.
When Benjamin stepped out of the study, Alice had curled up and fell asleep at the door. Benjamin frowned. When did she develop this bad habit? Judging by her personality, if she didn’t kick in the door, she must have sworn she would ignore him forever.
This made Benjamin doubt that did she know anything?
Benjamin crouched and hugged her. She awoke. She should be reluctant to talk to him. She held him with anger and accused him in his arms. “Benjamin is a badass.”
He bit his lips bitterly, silent, and acquiesced. Three years ago, he left without asking anything. He thought he had run away and could forget her. In fact, he was just a deserter of love, and as she said, he is a bad guy.
Benjamin put her on the bed, helped her take off her shoes and covered the quilt. Such a trivial matter had been done countless times, and she still had a different heart every time.
She didn’t look at him. He could boldly and stare at her affectionately. She murmured like having a dream, “Heat the food before eating, and remember to eat it.”
He stood in front of the bed, bowing his head to her, stubbing his throat, and respond to her, “Yes.”
She smiled stubbornly and continued to sleep.
Listening to the sound of his walking steps and the sound of the door being gently closed, she opened her eyes, and tears dropped from the corners of her eyes onto the soft pink pillow, and fainted.
Benjamin stood at the table and did not heat the food as he promised, because he couldn’t eat it.
Late at night, two people, two rooms, two beds, nobody could sleep.
Alice thought he might be asleep, and sneaked into his room secretly. When they lived together, in the summer, she deliberately climbed on his bed for a fear of thunder. In winter, she was chilly every day and had to let him sleep with her.
At that time, how bold she was, forgetting that he was a man, and forgetting that they had grown up.
Maybe they knew very well that they will get married sooner or later and sleep in a bed for a lifetime.
But they all forgot to cherish each other.
Benjamin heard the sound of her opening the door, and felt her body approaching. Her soft hips twitched gently against his waist, and a shallow breath spread warmly behind his strong back.
He muffled his voice and ordered, “Alice, go back to your room to sleep.”
She was afraid he would throw her on the bed, holding her pajamas tightly with her little hand, shaking her head stubbornly, “I’m cold.”
She was really cold, or maybe she wanted to come to him, so she deliberately froze her body so cold that her feet were like ice cubes.
Benjamin sighed deeply, “Alice, I can’t die, I don’t need your pity.”
As for her spoiled personality from her childhood, and her strong temperament, she could not run beside him for any reason, although he was still not sure what she had heard.
The instant stiffness of Alice’s body also made Benjamin surer of what she knew.
“Alice, I don’t love you, I hate you even more. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be what I am now, so don’t stay near me, I hate you. I’m afraid I won’t control myself, and kill you, to take revenge on myself. ”
His voice was calm, and the words spoken were like familiar lines, but he was not a professional actor. She didn’t hear his hate for a little bit. He hated it, but could only hear that his powerlessness so he had to abandon.
Alice’s cold little hands unbuttoned her pajamas and gently rubbed his back, her trembling lips lingering around his neck.
Benjamin certainly knew what she was doing. He suddenly flung away her and his elbows bumped into her chest lightly.
He turned around fiercely, glaring at her angrily. The pain in her expression made his heart tremble for a moment He gave a deterrent order, “Get out.”
Alice looked at him with tears in her eyes and begged and said to him, “I want to have a child.”
Benjamin sneered, “Are you crazy.”
Regardless of his coldness and questioning, Alice stretched out his hands and unbuttoned his chest, her hands panicked like her heart at the moment.
Benjamin’s big hand tightly held her dishonest hands, holding his breath. His heart felt like suffocation.
His deep-sea eyes stared deeply at her, whose tears were about to fall.
When they met again, she always held tears and grievances in her heart.
“Don’t make a noise, we can’t go back.” There was endless helplessness in his voice.
Can’t go back, this sentence sounded really uncomfortable. But why can’t they go back?
Alice murmured and asked him, “Don’t you really love me anymore? Have you decided not to want me?”
Maybe the answer to this question had been entered into his brain long ago, he answered without hesitation, “I never loved you. How can I have sex with you?”
Alice bit him angrily, “Benjamin, why did you do this. God did not sentence you to death. Why did you have to give up on your own, just to hurt me?”
Benjamin held Alice’s hands with his big hands, and his expression was solemn and cold. He wondered what she knew, but not sure if she knew it all.
“Who told you these?”
Alice didn’t struggle, and looked down at him. “You want to avenge me, there are too many ways, and don’t use your life for my life’s torture. It’s not worth it.”
Benjamin sneered coolly, “Alice, are you overestimating your position in my heart? Three years ago, I could leave you alone. Now, I can still do the same. You don’t care. If I love you, I won’t give up on you, you know? ”
“It doesn’t matter if you love me or not. From now on, I love you.”
He no longer spoke. Alice was lying beside him, covering the same quilt with him, and warming her cold feet on his legs.
Benjamin was a normal man. She used to torture him like this when she was a student. In the end, she fell asleep sleeplessly, and he was always awake all night.
Now she was not the one who had no mind like she was. Her little hands took a chance to hold his big hands. He wanted to escape, and she strongly intertwined his fingers, and breathed lightly on his neck.
She was definitely exciting him, but she learned to use her body instead of her language.
Benjamin felt like she was driving him crazy. He lifted the quilt to get up, but her hands clasped in his palms just refused to let go.
A pair of water eyes gazed at him calmly, without talking, and without any expression.
“Alice, believe it or not, I will chop your hands.”
She didn’t believe.
She didn’t say anything, just watching him quietly, watching his anger, unwillingness, and helplessness towards her.
Benjamin gritted his teeth, took off his pajamas with one hand, and said angrily, “Alice, you asked for it yourself!”
The cold wind was strong outside the window, and the two of them breathed hotly…
There was no language, only exhaustion. He had never said that he loved her, but he was the person who loved her most in the world.
At dawn, she opened her eyes, and there was no temperature around her. She felt heartache, and suddenly she was scared that in her future life, every time she opened her eyes in the morning, she couldn’t find him.
Getting dressed and leaving the bedroom, he was sitting in the living room holding a tablet and watching the news. Hearing her footsteps, he said coldly, “Take the medicine on the table.”
Alice’s heart suffocated, and suddenly it appeared in her mind that the morning after their first sex, he also prepared a contraceptive pill for her, but her heart at that time was not painful.